Searching for Hope

Today after my fun, eventful and somewhat emotional day at the Sole Hope outreach house I headed home down my mile long pot hole ridden road. First thing I did was wash my hands. They had become quite gross after playing with playdough, sticking my hands in soapy water so I could catch bubbles and tossing around balls that we covered in red dirt. As soon as I had finished I noticed my bracelet was gone. My leather bracelet that said “Hope” on it. I had worn it just about everyday since the beginning of the year and even almost every day since I got it 3 years ago. So I hoped on a boda, went back to outreach and searched. I retraced my steps on my mile long ride home. Looking in the dirt and on the side of the road. I started praying “Lord, I know this is silly but please let me find it. I know you can make the impossible happen.” I walked all the way home and in my head I was trying to come to terms with it being ok if I didn’t find it. I was literally searching for hope. And I finally said to myself “well if someone else has it then maybe it will be the same reminder to them as it is to me, to always have hope”. You see, Hope has been my word. It keeps coming up, and I mean everywhere. Life is hard but just have hope. Things are confusing but just have hope. I have hope. Hope for the future, hope to make a difference in the world and hope that the mean and nasty things in life will pass. I cling to hope because when the walls seem to be falling down around you, you need to have hope that you will make it, you will survive.

Living in Uganda, hope is a powerful word. It can move mountains, it can breathe life. It can change you. Many days I find myself looking for hope when I’m faced with the lack of comforts. When I see a level of poverty that no one should bare. When I feel like throwing in the towel and giving up on the hard things. When I have to say goodbye to the kids I have fallen in love with the last two weeks.
But hope is never lost. It’s usually just temporary misplaced. I walked into my room accepting the fact that my bracelet was gone and hopefully someone else was enjoying it when I saw it. There on top of my laundry drying rack was my bracelet. I must have taken it off last minute before walking out the door. Funny though, if you asked me if I put it on this morning I would have said yes. Heck I would have bet 100$ that I did. But there it was. My heart nearly exploded. I’m not a “things” person, I don’t have a lot of trinkets or excess but this bracelet has reminded me and taught me many things.

Never give up hope, even when it seems like a lost cause. So as I went to bed last night my heart was full. Full from the days events, full from the craziness that come from living in Africa and full of Hope.

I had to lose my bracelet today to realize how much I needed to keep searching for hope even when I don’t think I can.