Starting the next chapter.

I woke up at 4am this morning to get ready to get all my things packed in the car and head to the airport. As my alarm went off I immediately thought about turning it off and just sleeping in a bit longer. But as I rub my tired eyes I pulled the covers off and thought, well in a few hours I’ll be on a plane sleeping. It can’t be that bad. 4 hours of sleep really hits you hard when you’ve been on the road traveling for the last two weeks. I packed up the car and headed to the airport. 

These last two weeks have been unreal. I got to spend them on a road trip visiting family with my mom, one of my sisters and our dog Tyrone. As we drove from state to state I couldn’t help but to feel overwhelmed. Not because we spent numerous hours in the car or the fact that I had one day to pack once we returned. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the places we drove through and saw. My heart was so full. And just when I thought it couldn’t get better, it did. We drove over 3,000 mikes, spent more than 50 hours in the car and saw 9 states. All within the period of 13 days. 

I got to see the salt flats, Salt Lake City and  Arches National Park in Utah. I got to see beautiful mountainscapes and have a snowball fight (which didn’t last long because the altitude killed me) in Colorado. Driving through the grass plains or Montana and Wyoming looking at the Rocky Mountains in the distance left me at loss for words. I imagined what it would be like to get lost in those fields and spend my days riding horses or writing stories. Then we drove through Yellowstone National Park at sunset and it was something I’ll never forget. The sky was painted the most marvelous colors and at each turn and bend in the road I begged my mom to pull over so I could take another picture. Yet no matter how many I took it never felt like enough because an image cannot capture the beauty that was in front of me. The colors almost seemed to speak as I watched in complete silence. They radiated to my soul and touched a part of me so deep it moved me to tears. I have been so busy with school and work for so long I forgot what it felt like to soak in the beauty of this life for every drip that it has to offer.

As we drove to Idaho we finally hit the home stretch. Had a nice relaxing time with family and got to spend some quality time with my grandparents. It was there that I was reminded that “tears coming out of your eyes only makes your vision clearer”. As I sat during several conversations trying to hold them in. After Idaho we drove to visit my grandma in Seattle. It is basically my home away from home. Except I haven’t been there in 4 years. Except that the last time I was there I was going to my grandpas memorial service. Except that I sat at the kitchen table every meal waiting for him to come around the corner but he never did. I was quiet and exhausted  during this part of the trip, but it took me awhile to figure out it was because I missed my grandpa. I missed his witty humor and his half smile as he tried to get away with some snarky remark. 

Our trip came to an end as we headed back home to Petaluma! I would have 24 hours to pack and get ready to leave for 6 months. And that is just what I did.

So back to the airport…. I arrived only to find out my flight had been cancelled and instead of leaving at 9:30am I would be leaving closer to 2pm. I had to go to a different terminal on the other side of the airport and wait 3 hours before I could even check my bags and go through security. Then I would have to wait almost 4 more hours before my plane would leave. And, on top of that I would no longer be flying with the other intern but completely solo the whole way. 

I stood staring at the ground for a minute, my mom asked me if I was ok and I started laughing. “Oh, I thought you were going to cry” she said cautiously. “Nope, it’s funny. This whole thing is funny! Really, it is what it is, no reason to get worked up about things you can’t change.”

So, we waited. The time finally came for me to go through security and as I hugged my mom I looked at her and she had tears welling up in her eyes. “What!?! You are crying?!  Stop it!” I exclaimed as a last ditch effort to keep myself from losing it totally. It didn’t work. I walked through security with tears rolling down my cheek and stepping into the next chapter this life has started to write for me.

The chapter where I move to Uganda for 6 months. The one where I will be in the country where I feel home and at peace but so very broken and vulnerable. The chapter where I fly all by myself, not knowing anyone in the other side. The one where I completely dive head first into the unknown because of faith and hope! 

As I sit in front of my gate, trying to stay awake for fear of falling asleep and missing my flight, I feel more emotions that I know how to express. I’m excited, anxious, nervous, happy and a little bit scared. But it’s ok because I’ve been waiting for a day like this for 3 years and now it’s finally here. 

So, Uganda here I come!